How to Get What You Want More Effectively

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Ask for it.

Too many people transiently drift through life accepting a reality that is prescribed for them to endure.

Instead of grabbing life by the horns and demanding it conforms to our expectations we consent to a life we have little control over. We are entirely complicit in our own lack of influence and instead of becoming the change we desire we remain silent out of fear for becoming a lone dissenter.

And you see it in relationships. People trade getting what they want for confort. They accept their current situation as the best things have been and the best they ever will get. We assume that by accepting what we have things might not get better but they definitely won’t get worse, until they do. People lose years not getting what they want and accepting less than what they deserve, almost everyone

You also see it at work. We let others talk over us and take the things we want instead of displaying confidence in our own abilities. We subconsciously submit to those above us by assuming they are the best person for the job when we know we are. Instead of getting what we let others dilute or consume our happiness.

And at school. We fear our own potential by refusing to strive to become the best version of ourselves. We are entirely self-defeating. Instead of unmercifully pursuing the things that we know will challenge us, we avoid the struggle and hence avoid stretching our capacity and potential. We don’t do this because we can’t, we do it because we know we can but fear the pain of not reaching the heights we dream.

I never truly worked as hard as I could have because that would have meant I had no excuses. Instead, I embraced the external factors as an explanation for my shortcomings. My potential was unconstrained but I purposefully sabotaged myself which allowed me to impose limitations. The excuses shielded me from the pain.

Our potential and what we can achieve is only constrained by a lack of imagination.

We are a product of our surroundings; we see what those around us are achieving and accept that as the absolute most that we can achieve or we put a preeminent figure on a pedestal and accept his limitations as our own. We get what we want by dispelling those myths. We don’t allow the external influence of others lack of achievement hold us back

And we lie to ourselves. Being young was when we should have taken the most risks, we have the most time and least responsibilities. Instead, we wait for life to happen. I know because I never and I wish I did. I know that now and I know what I would have done.

Cease the day is what we are told, but how many people do? How many people would be completely honest with themselves and admit they create little of value? What have you done in the last week, month or even year?

I know I didn’t for the longest time, I couldn’t. I was scared of the facts. Facing up to it was painful, it hurt more than anything I’ve ever been endured and it was self-inflicted. Like a gunshot to my own ego, I frantically tried to dispel the myths I had constructed to protect myself from my own inadequacies, and there were plenty.

I was wasting my one wild and precious life. I realised I lacked passion, direction and commitment. Everything in life had been easy because it just happened. I hadn’t impacted or controlled anything I could have. I never pursued the things that truly interested and inspired me.

We do the things that we think will make other people happy, proud of us and what they expected.

To get the things we want we must first be honest. To be honest we must first understand. To understand we must be present in the moment, not reminiscing on past glories or lusting for the future.

The past has already happened, it is what made us what we have become but it has no bearing on what we can be.

Our future is unconstrained, it is unwritten. It must be cultivated and moulded relentlessly every single day, it won’t just happen.

And we must remain the guardians of ensuring we become what we need. Doing so will ensure we get what we want from life.

So ask yourself every single day: ‘am I getting what I want?’

If you can be honest you’ll know your next move.

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Written by

CEO / Founder / Coach @FirstbaseHQ Empowering people to work in their lives not live at work ✌️✌

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