Kat, thank you, that is tremendously helpful and absolutely something I will carry forward. I completely agree that there is a disconnect between the initial introduction and the conclusion, it comes across exactly as you state.
As it transpires, I have used hemingway and Grammarly in the past, but drifted away from them in recent times. Typically I just write so fast and get it out there that I lose interest in it being 100% correct, but I can completely understand your annoyance of a reader when you expect whats there to be better than it is!
Really like the advice relating to PAS. Hope you can see the growth in my writing hereafter and look forward to you telling me if you don’t!